My whole life, at least as far back as I can remember, I, like most mulattoes (who identify as such), have been trying to "play both sides of the fence," as a friend of mine once put it. Forms without a "multi-racial" box and, ultimately, one-droppism made it difficult.

During the summer of 1999 I realized that "playing both sides of the fence" wasn't going to work. What do I mean? Allow me to explain. When I was a teen in high school I pretty much did not hang with any black kids. I was a loner, but if you saw me around anyone, that person was usually white. I actually only had problems with black kids who would say something to me like "What up, dog?" or ask me what kind of music I listened to -- just to hear what I'd say and to get a kick out of how I said it. It seems I sounded like a "white boy" to them. Combine that auditory phenomenon with my responses to "What up, dog?" (usually, "Hello!" or "Hi there!") or "What kind of music do you listen to?" (mostly adult contemporary artists, classic rock, and some pop), and you can see that I'd have the black kids rolling on the floor laughing. Simple minds are easily entertained, I thought. So as you can also see, I couldn't play that side of the fence.

Playing the "other" side of the fence was easier, or so I thought at the time. I could hang around the white kids, and they wouldn't do or say anything to insult me -- purposely, that is. My kind (not necessarily mulattoes, but anyone of noticeable African descent who behaved the way I did) was an anomaly to them. What did insult me was that they knew fully well that I was a mulatto, yet they still seemed to be puzzled that I didn't speak in "ebonics" and that I wasn't into "hip-hop." In fact, I hated it. They did treat me better than the black kids did, but I knew as well as they did that we felt no "racial bond" between each other.

My dating life as a teen was hurt, also. I never went to a single dance in high school; I missed every homecoming and prom. Of course, the black girls didn't' want me and neither did the white girls. If a white girl wanted to date outside of her race, she'd go for a black guy or a black-identified mulatto. I was lucky enough to be in two relationships throughout high school -- one with a white girl and another with a Caucasian Hispanic. To this day, I've never had a relationship with a black female, not that I'd really care to either. If it happens, so be it. How whites felt toward me, I actually didn't notice at the time. I didn't notice it until I went to college. It wasn't just any college; it was a black college. So it took being away from white people for awhile for me to look back and see how whites felt about me. I played the "white" side of the fence well, but I didn't win.

During the summer of 1999, my first summer home from college, I mainly kept to myself and began thinking deeply about "mulattodom". Black and White -- am I both or neither? Well, logically, if I was both, I'd be able to play both sides of the fence. Heck, though, I couldn't even play one! So there's only one choice left -- "neither".

Many of the contributors here at Interracial Voice, especially William Javier Nelson and A.D. Powell, like to speak of certain ethnic groups, such as Arabs and Latinos. These ethnic groups mostly consist of people who are mulattoes yet escape one-droppism and deny being the product of any miscegenation. Ask any one-droppist why he or she won't try to force "blackness" upon a member of any of these ethnic groups, and you'll get an answer that sounds something like this: "They have their own culture, their own styles of music, dress, food, etc. How about mulattoes? I've never heard of mulatto food, music, or clothing." This statement is nonsense. Nigerians, for example, have a different culture than Africans Americans, yet one-droppists still agree that Nigerians are black.

Let's get back to Arabs and Latinos. I strongly believe that these two groups are able to escape one-droppism because they do not consider themselves to be of "both" races. When was the last time you saw an Arab or a Latino trying to "play both sides of the fence"?

As American mulattoes, can we learn something from the Arabs and the Latinos? I surely have. American mulattoes have been trying to "play both sides of the fence" for ages in this country, or they just choose to play one side. It's still happening to this day. Why don't we follow the examples of the Arabs and the Latinos by leaving this "fence" alone and start looking for a new block to play on? American mulattoes (who identify as such) should not have to look to "blacks" and "whites" for acceptance; we should be doing what we've been failing to do the whole time -- look to each other. When this happens, every mulatto will know that there is a group that he or she can fit into and feel a "racial bond" with.

Since "race" has no biological meaning but is a social construct, as mulattoes, we should see ourselves a separate "race" -- one with equal recognition as blacks, whites, Asians, and Native Americans. Afterall, the Arabs and Latinos were able to pull it off. Instead of seeing ourselves as having "black blood" and "white blood" flowing through our veins, we should see ourselves as having one "type of blood" flowing through our veins -- this blood being 100% mulatto.

Richard "Warbird" Miller

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