..of Duane & Eva's Old Kentucky Home Page
Whiskers used to
Hide his pearls.
Now his grin
Is Wowing
Girls.
BURMA SHAVE!
Shave your chin,
And place the fiddle.
Roll a reel,
And stump
A little...
BURMA SHAVE!
A beard as thick
As grizzly fur,
May keep you warm,
But, Son,
Not her!
BURMA SHAVE!
Grampa knows
It ain't too late.
He's gone to get
Some
Widder bait!
BURMA SHAVE!
Stop all those
Unwanted litters.
Spay and neuter
Your pet
Critters.
BURMA SHAVE!
If on a trip
You travel far
Don't forget
to take your jar
of
BURMA SHAVE!
You won't hear
your honey whistle
unless you shave
that 5 o'clock
bristle!
BURMA SHAVE!
Time for summer.
Time to swim.
Time to give,
Your beard,
A trim!
BURMA SHAVE!
Let it grow.
The stubble's fine.
If you want,
to date a
Porcupine!
BURMA SHAVE!
Telly Savalas,
Kojak star,
Took our concept
A bit
Too far!
BURMA SHAVE!
If you still believe
In brush and foam
Your lights are on
But you ain't home
BURMA SHAVE!
The candidate
To gain perfection,
Found this jar,
Helped his
Election!
BURMA SHAVE!
Driving late?
Are you tired?
Drink some coffee!
You'll be wired!!
BURMA SHAVE!
Don't over rate
Your driving skills.
It's the driver,
Not the car,
That kills!
BURMA SHAVE!
Eyes On The Road
Hands On The Wheel
You Control
2 Tons
Of Steel
BURMA SHAVE!
Rough and Scratchy
Got no kisses.
Nice and Smooth
has a
Mrs.
BURMA SHAVE!
Five o'clock shadow
At nine a.m.?
Looks like
You need
A closer trim!
BURMA SHAVE!
Soft as silk...
Nice and clean...
The smoothest shave...
You've ever
seen!
BURMA SHAVE!
If your whiskers
misbehave,
keep them
tame
with
BURMA SHAVE!
To drive with food,
one has to yield,
or eat it off
the front
windshield!
BURMA SHAVE!
Don't drive
While Using
A mobile Phone!
The number called,
Might be your own!
BURMA SHAVE!
To read this ad
One must not swerve.
Eyes on the road
You'll miss
The curve!!!
BURMA SHAVE!
The one who drives
Fast asleep,
is now
buried
six feet deep.
BURMA SHAVE!
Prince Charming shaved
his royal do'
And won
a princess,
so can you!
BURMA SHAVE!
Clear to see,
Smooth to touch,
Sweetie
Loves it
Oh, so much.
BURMA SHAVE!
We've developed
Smarter rockets.
They zap whiskers,
Never
Pockets.
BURMA SHAVE!
Stay alert.
Don't go to sleep,
or you'll,
end up,
Six feet deep!
BURMA SHAVE!
The Soviets got rid,
of all their missles.
Do the same,
with all,
YOUR bristles.
BURMA SHAVE!
We shaved Grandpa.
We shaved Dad.
Soon we'll start,
To shave
The Lad.
BURMA SHAVE!
Drinkin' all day,
You've got a buzz.
If you want a girl,
You'll lose
That fuzz.
BURMA SHAVE!
Using the best
Is common-sense
Dollar performance
For 50 cents!
BURMA SHAVE!
Electric razors
are just a phase
I prefer
the glory days
BURMA SHAVE!
Everyone travels
Forward in time
But one came back
To give us
This rhyme
BURMA SHAVE!
Hey there buddy,
Lookee here!
While off the muddy
Road
You veer!
BURMA SHAVE!
Lost his gal.
She was
A pin-up!
Seems he couldn't
Keep his
Chin up.
BURMA SHAVE!
Hot as Hades,
summer simmers!
Close-shaven guys
Come out
The winners!
BURMA SHAVE!
White words on red
In groups of four;
All good things fade
To come no more.
BURMA SHAVE!
Times may change,
Fashions alter,
But for the
Perfect Shave,
Men always
Ought'er,
BURMA SHAVE!
Select a path
That's lightly graveled
When grass obscures
The road less
traveled.
BURMA SHAVE!
Born on a mountain,
Raised in a cave,
To get any lovin',
He'll need
BURMA SHAVE!
Shaving Power?
We unlock it!
Tough on Whiskers,
Easy on Pocket.
BURMA SHAVE!
Perfect Shaves
Ain't Rocket Science.
We're Just Talkin'
Cream Appliance.
BURMA SHAVE!
Around the gates,
Ignored the train's horn!
Now he won't see,
His grandkids born!
BURMA SHAVE!
To gain her heart,
You must begin,
With something smooth,
Why not your chin?
BURMA SHAVE!
Check your door locks.
Check your lights.
Brush Shavers prowl,
This road at night.
BURMA SHAVE!
No brush with death,
But a very close shave.
For bristly whiskers,
A certain grave.
BURMA SHAVE!
We've left the highways
But don't forget
To read our verse
By the side
Of the net.
BURMA SHAVE!
She said, I hate
To burst your bubble,
But I want smooth,
You offer stubble.
BURMA SHAVE!
To put back these signs
He said with a grin
Will make both shaving and driving
Worth it again
BURMA SHAVE!
Siskel and Ebert
rant and rave
It's 2 thumbs up
for
BURMA SHAVE!
Dad, your beard
Is awfully hairy . . .
Actually,
It's kinda scary!
Won't you PLEASE
BURMA SHAVE!
If smooth, soft skin
Is what you crave;
then, lather-up...
with
BURMA SHAVE!
Grab Pa's Razor
And don't be late.
You can scratch
your head
But not your date!
BURMA SHAVE!
Extra! Extra!
Stubble Attacked!
Whiskers Creamed!
Never Fought Back!
BURMA SHAVE!
Is it man?
Is it beast?
I'd hate to guess,
To say the least.
BURMA SHAVE!
Hairy Mammoths
Are extinct.
No coincidence,
We think.
BURMA SHAVE!
If your wife
Does not Rave,
You're Not
Using
BURMA SHAVE!
Werewolf howls,
he looks a fright!
His face a dreadful hairy sight.
No girl will tuck him in at night.
He needs a.......
BURMA SHAVE!
Freshly shaved!
Really smooth!
A little music,
And he's in the groove....
with
BURMA SHAVE!
Whiskers that tickled,
His significant other,
Now he's living,
Back home with Mother.
BURMA SHAVE!
Sorry, son.
No car tonight!
Ma bought this cream,
and it feels just right!
Don't wait up.
BURMA SHAVE!
My son is lost
in cyberspace,
His whiskers grow
upon his face.
BURMA SHAVE!
Lincoln's beard
Was on the penny.
That's because
He hadn't any
BURMA SHAVE!
Aggressive drivers,
Full of strife,
Vent their anger,
Lose their life.
BURMA SHAVE!
Thick head of hair
Lady's thriller.
Thick face of hair
Lady killer.
BURMA SHAVE!
Flying by at speed of light,
Life without a care:
Seat belts buckled safe and tight?
or idly lying there?
BURMA SHAVE!
A nickel bag
When I was young
Meant two jawbreakers
And a piece of gum
BURMA SHAVE!
Cyber-whiz
On Internet
Forgot to shave;
He's solo yet!
BURMA SHAVE!
With a sigh
With a glance
A smoldering look
A sultry dance
BURMA SHAVE!
He revved it up
Put it in high gear
Now his widow's saying
"Goodbye, dear."
BURMA SHAVE!
Around the curves
Two wheels won't make it
To save your car
You'll have to brake it
BURMA SHAVE!
It's on my face
It's under my nose
with Burma Shave
Everything goes!
BURMA SHAVE!
Starving actor
Ted E. Bear
talent, poise, debonair
had all of these
but too much hair!
BURMA SHAVE!
Unstrapped he flew;
Thru windshield sent;
And now his wings
Are permanent.
BURMA SHAVE!
It's so easy,
It's no trouble.
Lose that stubble
On the double.
BURMA SHAVE!
He used to be
a derma slave,
but now he's cured
with
BURMA SHAVE!
Girls turned Jake down
One after another.
He Burma Shaved.
Now Jake's a lover!
Burma Shave!
Her man's whiskers
no longer faze her
he's thrown away
his electric razor
Burma shave!
Whenever you drink
Stay in your abode!
The life of the party's
The death of the road!
Burma shave!
Can't think of what
to buy him?
something to make him rave?
What better way to do it,
than with soothing
Burma shave!
If surfin'
is your kinda thing,
you like to catch
the wave?
Make sure your face
is stream lined
and reach for
Burma shave!
I lived out West
My beard was best!
I moved to the city.
Hair on my face
was a real disgrace.
Burma shave!
Your love life
going down the drain?
People stare at your chin,
in pain?
The connection?
your complexion!
Burma shave!
Your Sweetheart
Will firmly state
A scratchy chin
Will scratch
Your date
Burma Shave!
His razor swished,
His face now shorn,
His whiskers fell
Quite forlorn.
Burma Shave!
If you look
like Barney Rubble,
Let Burma Shave
take off that
stubble.
Give your sweet
a valentine treat.
Shave off the beard
and be real neat.
Burma Shave!
You no longer
live in a cave.
Treat your face
to
Burma Shave!
Kentucky is
a marvelous state
in which to
await your fate!
Burma Shave!
Last revised July 19, 2002.
URL: http://webcom.com/~duane1/bsback.html
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All contents copyright (C) 2001, Duane Bristow. All rights reserved.